Fear Itself
Elita Sohmer Clayman
I was eleven years of age when Franklin Delano Roosevelt
died. He was fondly known in the press (no TV in those days)
as FDR. People revered him and many years later we found out
some not so wonderful and nice things he had done, but at
that time everyone loved him including my parents and of
course me.
My best friend Myra and I decided that we were going to
write a biography about him since we both loved writing and
we liked him. We sat down at my table in my home (no desk
then either) and we poured over the literature we had gotten
from the Enoch Pratt Free Library that we both frequented
for our knowledge (no Google then). We each wrote a summary
of what we had gleaned from the borrowed books and the
encyclopedias we had at home. We gathered our notes and
combined them and one day after about four weeks of this
‘research’, we decided that it was a boring topic and we
both lost interest in it. We decided to leave the eulogies
and praise to our elders and maybe some author would surely
write him up soon, not us. We were two June birthday babies;
mine was June 21st and Myra’s June 30th. So since I was the
elder of the two girlfriends. she let me be the deciding
person who chose with her in agreement to let go of this
idea on writing our book.
The thing that fascinated Myra and Elita was that statement
he made. “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”
This statement enthralled, captivated and even charmed us
with the meaning we thought it meant to two almost eleven
year old young girls. I thought it meant we should never be
afraid of doing or accomplishing things we wanted in our
life and Myra thought it meant she should not be afraid of
doing physical athletic adventures she leaned towards. She
was more of an athlete and I was more of the thinker and
writer.
To each of us it was a good slogan and a good line to
remember in our almost coming teenage years. After
elementary school, we both went our separate ways to junior
high school and I never saw Myra too much after the
elementary graduation ceremony.
I heard she went on to take up skiing and swimming etc. I
took up the various aspects of writing and creating and
putting down my thoughts which even now as a senior citizen
I do in various modes.
If you examine the word fear in the dictionary it means feel
alarm, frightened and scared.
As seniors, many of us awake in the morning and confront our
fears daily. Some may fear lack of funds for everyday living
with all the prices of everything increasing daily. Others
may fear a visit to the doctor and what he will tell them.
Others fear growing old and being dependent on their spouse
or their children. Others fear the terrorist element that
grips us a lot. Others fear the length of the day with
nothing of importance or fun to do that day. Others fear as
fear itself takes hold of their senior years and grips their
thought and ideas and attaches itself to their daily life.
I have come up with a list that one can make either written
on paper or written in our thoughts. There is anxiety and
there are accomplishments. I call it my A and A for short.
Every morning I awaken and think that today will be a day of
accomplishments without any anxieties. I think of the large
things, the small things and the everyday things that I can
and will accomplish that particular day.
I list them down on an index card and keep them at my
computer or I take a space and write it in on the computer
for easy viewing. If I happen to have a dentist or doctor
appointment, I list it as an accomplishment. You may say
that is silly, I say it is a deed done for one’s self to
keep our health in order. I list if we plan to go out and
eat a nice dinner, not necessarily expensive (we shy away
from costly ones now in retirement years) as an
accomplishment, I list reading my many emails from fans and
friends, I list if it is hair salon day (to make me even
more beautiful-ha) as a plus. I list even if I am expecting
a monthly or weekly magazine through the mail as an
accomplishment (if the postal service delivers it in time).
Though some accomplishments of the A and A thoughts may seem
trivial, they are a plus and not a minus.
I list if I am expecting a phone call from my children or
grandchildren here in Baltimore or from Northern Virginia. I
list how many days it will be to we get back to our ballroom
dancing from having been in this automobile accident on June
18th, 2008. I list all of these that may seem innocuous to
some but are important to me as accomplishments. I then try
to list my anxieties for that day and I have found that when
I list the accomplishments first, they are surely longer in
length and worth more than the anxieties.
A friend in California with a good attitude at age eighty
something lists (when I told her about the A and A list of
mine) that she got up and is alive and knows it... Cute.
So anxieties can be replaced by accomplishments and
accomplishments can overcome the usual anxieties and the
only thing we can fear is the thought of fear itself.
Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) was in a wheelchair. This was
kept from the public for a long time and since there was no
television sets in those days, we did not see him daily on
the tube and when we saw him in the movie news we saw him
sitting and it did not occur to us as kids or even to the
adults that he was in a wheelchair. They did not want the
public to be aware of this thinking that this handicap would
hinder our belief in him especially in wartime.
Of course things are so different now sixty some years later
because we see everything momentarily on the TV and
therefore we are used to athletes without legs competing in
the Special Olympics for swimmers. I have seen a blind woman
dance in a competition way back in 1980 or so in Florida and
no one knew it until she won her trophies with her teacher
leading her and we did not even notice it. I have seen a
spastic boy dance with his teacher and held himself so erect
and did well because of the encouragement of the pro teacher
and the way she taught him. When he walked he was stooped
over and shaky, when he danced he was marvelous.
So all of these fears we may and do have daily, weekly,
yearly etc can be eliminated from our mind if we heed the
slogan above. The only thing we have to fear is not only
fear itself but what it can do to our mind and even our
physical self.
I am not saying that there are not moments when we should be
fearful but that when they arrive, we can think to ourselves
that perhaps it is not as bad is we think and if we replace
the fear thought with this-
Henry Ward Beecher (and I do not know who he really was,
other than this saying) said
Fear is the soul’s signal for rallying and I think by this
he really meant that our soul will
revive, renew and rebound and then we will eliminate the
fear completely.
So if you feel fear, remember that the only thing you
accomplish feeling the fear is to paralyze yourself with the
fear and if you rally your mind into not giving into it, you
will revive, renew and rebound and those are the three r’s
to replace the f in fear. Your ear will be left to hear only
accomplishments and the A and A will be yours to eliminate
the first A and thrive on the second A which is
ACCOMPLISHMENTS.Fear becomes ear and Voltaire said that the
ear is the road to the heart and Moses Ezra said the ear is
the gate to the mind. So the fear which we took away the f
becomes the ear and the ear is our road to accomplishments
because we hear only positive thoughts and no fear.
My physician assistant who I use in my internal medicine
doctor’s office once told me that he cannot understand if I
have a fear because of my strength. I said what does that
mean and he said that a person like me (or you my dance
readers) who can go forward and get on a dance floor and
present their self either at social dancing or competition
or showcasing before others is not fearful. They are strong
people, so remember that all of you ballroom dancers, not
only are you special because you dance you are full of inner
and outer strength. So we are. So here is to Strength and
that will rule out the word fear.
Elita Sohmer Clayman
Baltimore, Maryland
October 2008